I have been subbing in the 4th grade at Parker-Egin elementary. It was rewarding, exhausting and finished. Today I said good-bye and gave them a bookmark for Christmas. And you know what? I was sad! I am going to miss those kids. And I admire teachers even more. Say what you will about the decline of education blah blah blah, but it is incredibly difficult to teach a room full of kids who are at different levels, have different backgrounds and family and home environments. You can give it your best but not every kid is going to get what you are teaching. So you try it a different way. And you worry and hope you can help each of them understand. I am stumped as to why legislators think we should base teachers pay on their students scores. Because I did everything I could, I studied the material, reviewed, used different strategies and even felt pretty good about the kids' handle on singular and plural possessive nouns. But they still didn't test well!!!! Now I know I am not a real teacher, but should my pay be based on those tests? Because I tried my very best and still some didn't get it. How do you measure the success of someone when their job is teaching so many individuals? So, if anyone is reading this, I challenge you to thank a teacher in your life. One you had or one your children have had.
I am not sure if I am tired, emotional because I said goodbye or what, but I feel like I am at the end of my rope. Perhaps it is the seemingly endless list of things to do without corresponding endless time to accomplish it all. Or how I wish I could give my children the world for Christmas, but can't and really shouldn't anyway. My stomach is in knots and I am a tad, okay REALLY grumpy. There are certain things I am struggling with that sometimes feel too heavy. So, tonight I took a sleep aid and am hoping I will actually sleep and tomorrow will seem brighter! Or at the least I will be more able to deal. So, I took two and will call you in the morning. Not really, but maybe I will blog you!
Shan... you're awesome. Come sub for me... the kids down here are crazy and next semester they have 38 kids enrolled in my 1st hour class! I may die. Long gone are the Parker Egin days... love it there.
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